Thursday, February 26, 2009

3 Little Words....

I LOVE YOU! And yes, Hudson said them today!!! I am SO excited! This morning I was getting ready for work and I heard David opening the garage and told Hudson that his daddy was home from work. (David has been working the past few nights) Well, I told Hudson that he needed to be real excited to see daddy and to tell him "Daddy I love you!!!" and I kept repeating it over and over. One time it sounded like he said I love you, but I couldn't exactly tell because it wasn't all that clear. Fast forward to tonight and I ask Hudson for a hug and a kiss and he gives me a huge hug and a big ole kiss and says "I love you mom." It was awesome and he said it pretty darn clear too! SO sweet and now I just have to keep repeating it until he remembers it and can say it to both David and myself. This was definitely by far the highlight of my day.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Too Beautiful.....

I had seen this poem many times before in the past, but until I happened upon it most recently it never held the same meaning that it definitely has now. I just love it and feel it is a very poignant and touching sentiment for anyone who has lost a child.

“An Angel in the book of life,
wrote down our baby’s birth
and whispered as she closed the book…
too beautiful for earth…”


I just want to be ok,
be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok,
be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today,
feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to feel today,
feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today

Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts

I just want to know today,
know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today,
know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok

Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me please
Just give me back my pieces
And let me hold my broken parts

I just want to be ok,
be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok,
be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today,
feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to know today,
know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok

Written by Ingrid Michaelson

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Out of Touch....

Sorry for the lack of posting lately as I have been completely inundated with other stuff lately. I have finally gotten back into the swing of things with Delovely and have been trying to get that under control because I had so many new inquiries during the time I was in the hospital and ever since that I have just never been able to catch up. Between that, my full-time job, trying to be the best wifey and mommy possible and everything else it's been quite chaotic to say the least. I did take a much needed break this past weekend though and went a got a manicure and pedicure for some me time and then went and did a little shopping afterward as well. So, that was definitely nice! We had a pretty low-key weekend, but did finally get Hudson a tv for his room and found it at Costco of course! We shop there at least once a week so that really shouldn't be any surprise. Oh, and I was a good girl and went ahead and bought Quickbooks at Costco too so I can get my financial stuff for Delovely better organized this year too.

Besides the norm, there's not too much going on around here. Just staying busy pretty much all of the time. I am still anxious about starting to try for another baby soon, but I know that it will happen in due time and that stressing out won't help so hopefully things will work out in our favor and sooner rather than later so that I don't have to get freaked out eventually, ha!

In Hudson news, our little man is doing well and has started learning some more new words recently. I'm still not sure that he doesn't need some type of speech therapy because it seems like he doesn't talk as much as he should for his age, but then again, I know that every child is different and I don't want to compare my child with others because that's not necessarily fair or an accurate way to assess his developmental progress. I figured out though that Hudson does not do what is typical of a toddler in his age range which is imitate. He rarely will repeat things you say the first, second or even third time you say them. Instead it can take him days, weeks or months to pick up that word. Other times, he will just randomly start saying a word he just heard for the first few times! I don't know.....we definitely try to encourage it and he loves to look at and read books and my mom is also really great with reading to him and everything so I don't think that should really be a problem, but who knows. I think that we just have to give him some more time and see what he does. He definitely is a very intelligent little boy in general though, he can remember things that you'd never think a 2 year old would and he seems to be highly inquisitive for his age as well. He also responds well as far as doing things that you ask him to like asking him to bring something to you or to put something away. Of course, there are times he is resistant, but that's not because he doesn't understand what you want him to do, but rather he just doesn't want to do it. I think that with all that he has just learned in the past month or so it will definitely be very interesting and exciting to see how he develops over the coming months. The most important thing is that he has been very healthy and knock on wood, is very rarely ever sick so that has been an absolute blessing! I can only pray that he continues to have a good immune system and stays healthy this year too! My favorite thing these days is him saying "Mom" since he truly never said mom or momma or mommy very often previously and all of a sudden in the past month or so he started saying mom ALL OF THE TIME! I love it! It's kind of odd he says mom instead of mommy or mama, but I think it's perfect and I feel all happy inside everytime he says it! He calls David Dada, so we'll have to still work on that!

That's about it for now....or at least all I've got for now, ha! It's getting late and I've gotta get back on track and then get to bed! Goodnight!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Pace Uddies

Hudson loves this movie and just this morning as he was toting around the empty DVD case (of course, along with the empty Cars case too) he kept pointing at the case and saying "This, this" and then he would bark, lol! I told him the name of the movie was Space Buddies and after I told him just a couple of times he started repeating the word Space, but it actually sounded more like Pace or Bace to be honest and then he started saying Uddies, ha! So, in a matter of minutes he actually learned the name to one of his favorite new movies Pace Uddies! Well, sort-of.... ;)

What I am Listening To These Days.....

Thursday, February 19, 2009

6 Weeks

It's been 6 weeks since we lost our baby and I am still so, so very heartbroken and honestly, more than anything right now I am beyond angry again. Heartbroken and angry that our baby was taken away from us far too soon and angry that I feel like my life is in a total tailspin that I don't know how to stop. I'm having a horrible time at this and don't know how to move on or how to make things better. I am really *trying* to have hope and faith for our future and in Gods untold and ultimate plan for us, but in all honesty, I am struggling terribly and just need my life back.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope" Psalm 130:5

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Fabulous Day With My Valentine

We had a great Valentine's Day and spent the entire afternoon and evening alone as a couple for the first time in a LONG time. We definitely needed a little time to ourselves and it was nice not "having" to do anything or be anywhere for any specific reason. Marcia (Nana) had agreed to watch Hudson for the day and for him to spend the night as well, so we dropped him off around noon so that we could run around a bit before having dinner and going to a movie. We basically just went shopping all afternoon.....we first hit up Northpark and got our movie tickets for that evening, had lunch at Corner Bakery and then did some shopping. We bought some ADORABLE clothes for Hudson at Janie and Jack, I finally bought my Le Creuset Cherry Red tea kettle to start my Le Creuset collection, we found some new flatware to replace our daily stuff and we went to DSW and David got a new pair of tennis shoes while I scored TWO new pairs of knee boots, woohoo!

After shopping for the majority of the afternoon we decided to go have dinner at Howard Wang's....which was SO yummy and we barely beat the Valentine's rush! We had intended to go to Luna de Noche in Victory Park, but decided at the last minute to go somewhere closer to Northpark so that the drive would be shorter to make sure that we weren't late to the movie. We go to Howard Wang's every couple / few months or so and they have seriously the yummiest Chinese food....truly, they rival PF Changs in both of our opinions! I had a lovely Pina Colada along with my dinner because I figure I better take advantage of having a drink here or there before I get pregnant again. (hopefully soon!) After our yummy dinner we went back to Northpark for popcorn and a movie! We saw "He's Just Not That Into You" and it was SOOOO good! I really liked the movie even though there were parts I could have done without and there was one main storyline of the movie that I hated, but eh', I had already known that before I saw it so I wasn't too disappointed or surprised. David liked it a lot as well, but not as much as I did. He keeps saying that he loved the end, ha! Sounds like he didn't like it too much, but really he did he just thought it was kind of slow and he truly liked the end of the movie and how things turned out for most of the cast. In any case, it was a fun and low-key kind of Valentine's day, but it was absolutely perfect for us and definitely was a nice little break for us as well. Here are a couple of pics from dinner....yes, we know we are nerds, ha!

I Love My Little Man!

Look at this SWEET homemade Valentine card that Hudson made for mommy and daddy! He stayed the night with his Nana on Saturday and she helped him make this special card for us....I just love it and had to display it on our fridge as soon as we got home! :)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Happy Valentine's to Moi!

David definitely did good by surprising me with this stunning arrangement of fresh flora crafted of the prettiest blush pink, lilac, bright pink and spring green toned floral on Friday for an early Valentine's Day surprise! It was SO gorgeous and smelled great too....I was certainly pleasantly surprised when I entered my office Friday morning only to find this fabulous bouquet of perfectness on my desk! It was even filled with all of my favorite blooms including pink peonies, ranunculus, cymbidium orchids, dutch tulips, hyacinth, lilac, hydrangea, viburnum, etc. SO pretty!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Just Had to Share --- For Parents of Angel Babies

20 Things that parents of angel babies wish you would remember....I found this posted online earlier today and just had to share because I can relate with so many of these and I'm sure that there are others out there that have experienced losses and have felt at least one of these at some point in time.

1. I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is just because you never saw my baby doesn't mean he or she doesn't deserve your recognition.

2. I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The truth is I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal.

3. I wish that you could talk about my baby more than once. The truth is if you do, it reassures me that you haven't forgotten and that you do care and understand.

4. I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my baby. The truth is I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.

5. I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that you are thinking of me. The truth is that it tells me you care.

6. I wish you wouldn't think what has happened is one big bad memory for me. The truth is the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and the memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes there are bad memories too, but please understand that it's not all like that.

7. I wish you wouldn't pretend that my baby never existed. The truth is we both know I had a baby growing inside me.

8. I wish you wouldn't judge me because I am not acting the way you think I should be. The truth is grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.

9. I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is there is no "normal" way for me to act.

10. I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is losing my baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.

11. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, months, or years for that matter. The truth is it may get easier with time but I will never be "over" this.

12. I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasn't really a baby and it was blood and tissue or a fetus. The truth is my baby was a human life. My baby had a soul, heart, body, legs, arms and a face. My baby was a real person.

13. My babies due date, Mothers Day, celebration times, the day my baby died and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days for me. The truth is I wish you could tell me by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.

14. I wish you understood that losing my baby has changed me. The truth is I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to "normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs, and values. Please try to get to know the real me-maybe you'll still like me.

15. I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby. The truth is I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby. Babies aren't interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we have fertility problems too.

16. I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or being near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.

17. I wish you wouldn't think that you'll keep away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.

18. I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is sometimes uncomfortable for me. The truth is I feel jealous.

19. I wish you wouldn't say that it's nature's way of telling me something was wrong with my baby. The truth is my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is

20. I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay." The truth is how do you know? What will you say if it happens to me again?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Missing My Baby....

If tears could build a stairway

And memories were a lane

We would walk right up to Heaven

And bring you back again.....

No farewell words were spoken

No time to say goodbye

You were gone before we knew it

And only God knows why......

Our hearts still ache in sadness

And secret tears still flow

What it meant to lose you

No one will ever know.....

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Let There Be Light!

Okay, so I am on a major kick to start getting some house projects done soon, but also we need to update some other things as we go along because I just think that our style and tastes have changed SO much since we first bought our home and decorated. Even more-so than that, I just feel very strongly that every single room in our home should really be a reflection of our personal style and taste and I would love to truly create a haven as much as possible for our family since we really do like to spend a lot of time at home when we can. So, with this in mind, I really would like to soften some areas up such as our master bedroom - specifically the lighting. Right now we have really super modern stainless steel looking lamps on our end tables and while they are very cool, they just aren't really are style anymore and I would like something a bit more romantic and fitting for our bedroom. I am almost positive I want something with a crystal base, but haven't quite found anything in person that I love. I don't want to just buy something for the sake of buying it because that pretty much defeats the purpose, so I guess I will keep looking and hopefully I will find something sooner than later. Another thing I am not sure about is size....the ones we have now are kind of average size and everything I am finding with a crystal base is either very large or rather small....for a night stand which would you prefer??? There are just SO many different styles to choose from it gets mind-boggling! Here are a few I found online that caught my eye....but quite honestly, they were all out of our desired budget. What do you think?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009



We finally decided to take the plunge and got iPhones this past weekend and boy are they addictive! Not only that, there is just so much you can do and I personally love, love, love being able to access my email at any time. Truly, I don't know why we didn't get them sooner. I could go on and on and on. :)

Friday, February 6, 2009


Thursday, February 5, 2009

A Mother's Prayer / Affirmation After Miscarriage

In this time of loss I call upon my spirit within to guide me to my strength so that I may find peace and completion.

I will use this strength to demand of myself and others my need to grieve completely, for this will be my first step to healing.

During my time of grief I will seek guidance not only from my inner spirit but from loving persons who may offer wisdom and comfort.

I need to understand that the soul as well as the physical body needs healing and to pay attention to this. I will learn to accept that the soul may never heal completely.

I will learn to live not in fear and once again see beauty in my world and purpose in my existence.

In spite of my new knowledge that things happen that cannot be controlled, I must call upon the places within me that tell me I do have control over much of my life and use this control to aid my healing.

Let me recognize the gift in my ability to conceive and carry life however briefly.

Let me take joy in my ability to love so deeply and desire to nurture a soul unbeknownst to me.

Let me find healing in the belief that this soul knew my love for it and that that love helped it to pass to another place.

Let me honor this short life not only with my love but in finding meaning in its existence.

Let me recognize this meaning in not only my ability to survive, but in my fullest appreciation of all the moments motherhood will bring me, along with my deeper compassion and sisterhood to other women who've experienced loss.

Let a part of this soul be reflected in the spirit of my future children, born or adopted, so that I may know it through them.

I will listen to and trust the place in my deepest heart that tells me I will once again be reunited with this soul and will fulfill the need to hold it in my arms.

I will help myself to feel comfort in the knowledge that there is a star in heaven that belongs to me.

by Stacey Dinner-Levin

The Truth Is.....


The truth ISN'T that you will feel "all better" in a couple of days, or weeks, or even months.

The truth IS that the days will be filled with an unending ache and the nights will feel one million sad years long for a while. Healing is attained only after the slow necessary progression through the stages of grief and mourning.

The truth isn't that a new pregnancy will help you forget.

The truth is that, while thoughts of a new pregnancy soon may provide hope, a lost infant deserves to be mourned just as you would have with anyone you loved. Grieving takes a lot of energy and can be both emotionally and physically draining. This could have an impact upon your health during another pregnancy. While the decision to try again is a very individualized one, being pregnant while still actively grieving is very difficult.

The truth isn't that pills or alcohol will dull the pain.

The truth is that they will merely postpone the reality you must eventually face in order to begin healing. However, if Your doctor feels that medication is necessary to help maintain your health, use it intelligently and according to his/her instructions.
The truth isn't that once this is over your life will be the same.

The truth is that your upside-down world will slowly settle down, hopefully leaving you a more sensitive, compassionate person, better prepared to handle the hard times that everyone must deal with sooner or later. When you consider that you have just experienced one of the worst things that can happen to a family, as you heal you will become aware of how strong you are.

The truth isn't that grieving is morbid, or a sign of weakness or mental instability.

The truth is that grieving is work that must be done. Now is the appropriate time. Allow yourself the time. Feel it, flow with it. Try not to fight it too often. It will get easier if you expect that it is variable, that some days are better than others. Be patient with yourself. There are no short cuts to healing. The active grieving will be over when all the work is done.

The truth isn't that grief is all-consuming.

The truth is that in the midst of the most agonizing time of your life, there will be laughter. Don't feel guilty. Laugh if you want to. Just as you must allow yourself the time to grieve, you must also allow yourself the time to laugh.Viewing laughter as part of the healing process, just as overwhelming sadness is now, will make the pain more bearable.
The truth isn't that one person can bear this alone.

The truth is that while only you can make the choices necessary to return to the mainstream of life a healed person, others in your life are also grieving and are feeling very helpless. As unfair as it may seem, the burden of remaining in contact with family and friends often falls on you. They are afraid to "butt in," or they may be fearful of saying or doing the wrong thing. This makes them feel even more helpless. They need to be told honestly what they can do to help. They don't need to be told, "I'm doing fine" when you're really NOT doing fine. By allowing others to share in your pain and assist you with your needs, you will be comforted and they will feel less helpless.

The truth isn't that God must be punishing you for something.

The truth is that sometimes these things just happen. They have happened to many people before you, and they will happen to many people after you. This was not an act of any God; it was an act of Nature. It isn't fair to blame God, or yourself, or anyone else. Try to understand that it is human nature to look for a place to put the blame, especially when there are so few answers to the question, "Why?" Sometimes there are answers. Most times there are not. Believing that you are being punished will only get in the way of your healing.
The truth isn't that you will be unable to make any choices or decisions during this time.

The truth is that while major decisions, such as moving or changing jobs, are better off being postponed for now, life goes on. It will be difficult, but decisions dealing with the death of your baby (seeing and naming the baby, arranging and/or attending a religious ritual, taking care of the nursery items you have acquired) are all choices you can make for yourself. Well-meaning people will try to shelter you from the pain of this. However, many of us who have suffered similar losses agree that these first decisions are very important. They help to make the loss real. Our brains filter out much of the pain early on as a way to protect us. Very soon after that, we find ourselves reliving the events over and over, trying to remember everything. This is another way that we acknowledge the loss. Until the loss is real, grieving cannot begin. Being involved at this early time will be a painful experience, but it will help you deal with your grief better as you progress by providing comforting memories of having performed loving, caring acts for your baby.

The truth isn't that you will be delighted to hear that a friend or other loved one has just given birth to a healthy baby.

The truth is that you may find it very difficult to be around mothers with young babies. You may be hurt, or angry, or jealous. You may wonder why you couldn't have had that joy. You may be resentful, or refuse to see friends with new babies. You may even secretly wish that the same thing would happen to someone else. You want someone to understand how it feels. You may also feel very ashamed that you could wish such things on people you love or care about, or think that you must be a dreadful person. You aren't. You're human, and even the most loving people can react this way when they are actively grieving. If the situations were reversed, your friends would be feeling and thinking the same things you are. Forgive yourself. It's OK. These feelings will eventually go away.
The truth isn't that all marriages survive this difficult time.

The truth is that sometimes you might blame one another, resent one another, or dislike being with one another. If you find this happening, get help. There are self-help groups available or grief counselors who can help. Don't ignore it or tuck it away assuming it will get better. It won't. Actively grieving people cannot help one another. It is unrealistic, like having two people who were blinded at the same time teach each other Braille. Talking it out with others may help. It might even save your marriage.

The truth isn't that eventually you will accept the loss of your baby and forget all about this awful time.

The truth is that acceptance is a word reserved for the understanding you come to when you've successfully grieved the loss of a parent, or a grandparent, or a beloved older relative. When you lose a child, your whole future has been affected, not your past. No one can really accept that. But there is resolution in the form of healing and learning how to cope. You will survive. Many of us who have gone through this type of grief are afraid we might forget about our babies once we begin to heal. This won't happen. You will always remember your precious baby because successful grieving carves a place in your heart where he or she will live forever.

by Stacey Dinner-Levin

One Month

It's officially been one month today since we said goodbye to our sweet Baby B and I am feeling the pain all over again. I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night as I stayed up past 2 am crying...I look like holy-hell today. My eyes are swollen, my face is breaking out and I am just generally weepy. I've already cried 3 times today and it's not even 9 am. I miss our baby and miss those tiny little flutters that I was only blessed enough to feel for a couple of days. My heart is broken, my mind is cloudy and my thoughts are racing as I feel my chest tighten up and the anxiety and fear overcome me We have FOUR big milestones to get through in this week alone and it's definitely working a number on me.... 1) Tuesday was supposed to have been the date for our *big* ultrasound, 2) Today marks one month since we lost our baby, 3) Tomorrow is FINALLY my second follow-up appt. with my OB and finally 4) Saturday I would have been starting my 20th week of pregnancy. I would have been half-way there to meeting our daughter or son and instead, I am mourning him/her. This is harder than I ever thought it would be and I just want some peace.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

LMAO! Seriously Hilarious!

Okay, this is seriously one of the funniest things ever!!!! Although, I do feel a little bad for the poor kid! :(

What I Am Listening To....

Here's just a few of the songs that I have been diggin lately....they're not all new songs, just a small snippet of the tunes on my faves list for the moment. On that note, I must tell a little story. I was driving home from picking up Hudson from my mom's tonight and Coldplay's Viva la Viva came on the radio, well I decided to change the station to see what else what on and Hudson got mad, lol! He started crying and freaking out until I changed the station back to Coldplay, ha! He then continued his version of *singing along* for the remainder of the song, TOO stinkin' cute! Hey, at least he does have good taste in music OR at least sometimes he does, ha!

What About Now - Daughtry

Best Of You - Foo Fighters

You Found Me - The Fray

O.A.R. - Shattered - O.A.R.

Light On - David Cook

More Like Her - Miranda Lambert

Already Gone - Sugarland

Anyway - Martina McBride

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


Today was supposed to be the date of our big ultrasound to find out if Baby B was a girl or a was really difficult trying to get through the day knowing that we should have been celebrating and sharing the big news with all of our family and friends and spoiling Baby B with lots of cute little things in pink or blue, yet instead, we continue to struggle with the pain and the reality that our baby is no longer here with us. It just isn't fair and I so wish that things were different.....this just wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

Just a few recent pics.....

Hudson chasing Bailey to give him kisses!
Whoa!! He was going fast around the dining room in circles....I'm surprised he didn't crash into the wall or anything or break anything for that matter!
Secret compartment and toilet paper? Huh?
My silly boy! I think he was laughing at Bailey, but hey, he could have been laughing at me I'm not really sure.

CHEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's exactly what he was saying in this pic and thus, the odd underbite was born, lol!
Such a big boy already!

Monday, February 2, 2009


Well, things have been pretty hectic most days around here as I am still struggling with catching up with my everyday life. I never got to even post about my birthday, which was the 3rd of January by the way, but I had a great birthday and we went out shopping all day, I actually felt the beginnings of Baby B's little butterfly movements and had some amazing PF Changs for dinner with my two best men! Wish I had known what was to come so that I could have basqued in the day even more. So, now I am 33 and have had a rocky start, to say the least, to this new year. With January coming to a close, I am looking forward to hopefully having a much better year for the next 11 months.

I got a lovely ticket for running a light in Dallas a couple of weeks ago, to which I started bawling when the police officer pulled me over. Poor guy probably thought I was nuts....but to my defense, it was exactly 2 weeks to the day after we lost the baby AND I had never been pulled over or gotten a ticket in my life. So, I guess it just hit me hard emotionally at the time...which reminds me, I guess I need to take care of that ticket pretty soon.

Then we get a letter from our insurance company basically saying that they have denied the claim for my hospital treatment because their medical advisor did not think that my treatment was a necessity....this is a total load of BS, but I digress....I can only pray we get this worked out because we then received the bill from the hospital a few days later and it was almost $14,000.00! I am terrified at the possibility that we might be held responsible for the hospital bills and it just makes me sick. We didn't even have a baby and we might be out thousands and thousands of dollars that we simply don't have. Not for this anyways.

I still haven't had my 2nd follow up appt. with my OB yet as it was cancelled the Friday before last because she had to be in L&D for another patient and then it was cancelled last Tuesday because of the ice storm that didn't happen until that night. They rescheduled for last Wednesday, but then I cancelled since I was home alone with Hudson because of the ice and there was no way I was going to bring him along with me on my own when I was going to be having a full-exam. So, I have rescheduled for this Friday morning and am looking forward to getting it over with. I actually called the hospital last Friday and asked if they had received a request from my OB for my records and they confirmed that they had received the request and had also already mailed copies to my doctor on the 20th, so hopefully we might have more answers after my appt. on Friday. Fingers crossed that she has more info. for us and hopefully, it will provide a bit more closure for us as well.

But, not everything has been bad. We had a great weekend this past weekend. We went out to dinner Friday night and then we were able to get out of the house on Saturday to run some errands and to also go furniture shopping yet again looking for the a media / entertainment center for our living room. We still didn't really have any luck finding an entertainment center, but we did find a couple of potential bedroom suites for Hudson's big boy room. We won't be buying anything for a while, but are still looking now so we have an idea of what we want once we get there. Oh, and I also bought the most fabulous piece of iron wall art for our living room! Now, I just have to decide where I want to hang it. Even though the day wasn't too successful, we still had a lot of fun getting out of the house.

Yesterday we stayed home and mostly I worked on design orders and David caught up on the cleaning. (Thank you, babe! ) Then, we watched the Super Bowl and David made some of the most amazing jalapeno and cheese stuffed hamburgers topped with avocado, Y-U-M!!! Oh, and I even got the pleasure of partaking in a few beers! They definitely tasted so good since I hadn't had a drink since early October....I figure I better get a little drink on before we start TTC again soon.

Oh, and Hudson is starting to learn more and more words lately! I am SO glad because we have been worried about his speech for quite some time now and it seems like it is getting better. Just today he randomly said "BUS!" when a school bus drove by us on the way to Grandma's and I said, "Yes, that's a bus." and he said it again "bus!" So exciting.....then he said "Bailey" tonight and he has NEVER said Bailey before and certainly not as clear as he did. His limited vocabulary seems to be expanding and I just hope that it keeps going this way so that we don't have to see a speech therapist or anything.

David's working a lot this week, so that sucks, but hopefully the next few days will fly by so it won't be too bad. Anyways, that's about it for now....I have some pics from the weekend that I will post later this week as well. Gotta get a few more things done tonight before it's my bedtime! :)

Love this quote....

This was the quote of the week on one of my favorite blog-reads, La Dolce Vita. I think it's a quite perfect quote for me right now actually.

Happy Groundhog Day!

It's official Punxsatawney Phil DID see his shadow today and we are in for 6 more weeks of winter! I guess that's not a horrible thing seeing that we here in Texas are lucky enough to have fairly mild winter seasons! Although, I sure am ready to start wearing some cute spring clothes and flip-flops! :)