Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Motherly Love

This year Mother's Day was different for me....it has an entirely new feel and meaning to me now, after all that I've, rather we've, experienced over the past 4 months or so. Now not only am I a mother to one wonderful little boy that I love more than anything in the world, I also am a mother to an angel baby looking over us and a mother to our expected little one that I cannot wait to meet come December. Understandably so, this stirred up a mixture of emotions for me on this special day and oddly enough, even though I had my own private mini-meltdown when I was thinking of what I thought Mother's Day would be for me just a few short months ago, once I re focused and tried to remember ALL of our wonderful blessings and that God is ultimately in control and leading the way for our family, it surprisingly made me feel more at peace and made me feel even more blessed despite the fact that we've experienced such a tragic loss such a short time ago. Being blessed with another child on the way and hoping, no not hoping, but let me try to be positive here and say that knowing that there will be another child in our household come this time next year has me glowing with pure happiness. I love this little bambino more than I could ever imagine already and just know that this love will just grow and grow over the coming months.

I cannot wait to have another child, to have that bond that I now share with Hudson and to not only make David a father again, but to also make Hudson a big brother as well. I know that he is going to be the most amazing big brother ever. He has such a strong love for other children and I cannot wait to see him with his little sister or brother, it is truly going to be such a wonderful thing to experience. As a matter of fact, this prompts me to share something that recently happened that made me smile SO big and honestly, completely made my heart melt. It was one of those rare and special moments that you catch yourself in that make you just feel all good inside and totally reaffirmed why I love David and Hudson so much and why they are going to be the best father and big brother to our little one when he / she arrives.

We actually went out to dinner this past Monday evening for my sister, Debbie's birthday. We got to the restaurant and went in to meet everyone that was already there as we were still expecting some others to arrive before being seated at our table. Well, one of my sister's friends had her daughter with her and her daughter had a newborn little boy and let me just tell you, we walked in, said hello to everyone and within 2 minutes David said "Can I hold the baby?" I was floored! He was smiling all big and was so into holding this little baby....I seriously was in awe of him cooing and cuddling on this precious little boy. He even kept commenting on how small he was and how light he was, etc., etc. It was TOO cute! Not like this is completely out of the ordinary per se because I mean, David is an amazing father, but it's not completely normal for him to pounce on the first newborn in the room and not only coo over the baby, but immediately ask to hold the baby. I just thought it was so precious and especially as I sat there, David so preoccupied with coddling the little one, that he did not even notice me admiring him and how he was so fixated over this sweet baby little boy...I tell you, I cannot wait to see him with our next child and see him coddling our little bambino just like he did with this baby and just like he did with Hudson. When Hudson was born, he was surely the proudest daddy around and rightfully so, I should say! ;) Well, apparently Hudson didn't want to be left out of the action because not long after David returned the sweet little baby back to his mama, Hudson starting cooing over him. *Seriously* the cutest thing ever. Hudson even continued to give soft little kisses on the baby's forehead and cheeks over and over again and was just completely in awe. It was so sweet and just made me think of how wonderful it will be to see him also do the same thing when his little sister or brother is born. I am just so proud of him and excited to see him become a big brother and be the "protecter" that I know he will try to be of his younger sibling and just know life as we know it will be forever changed once our family of three becomes a family force of four. This just solidifies my happiness with all that we are SO incredibly blessed with and makes me SO very grateful to call David my husband and Hudson my son. Our family is not complete without both of them and will be even more complete once our little one is here. 

Unfortunately, I did not get to spend Mother's Day with my mother this year (I actually gave her a gift on Tuesday because she and my father went out of town to see my grandmother on Sunday), but I did have a wonderful day filled with love. I was awoken by Hudson bearing sweet cards and gifts and then had a wonderful breakfast consisting of homemade chocolate-chip waffles made by the hubby. Later that day we went to dinner with Marcia and then came home and relaxed on the couch with a movie. It was pretty perfect if I must say so myself! However, I have a feeling that each year the perfection will be redefined and will just get better and better in the years to come as our family grows. And this, this is what I so look forward to next Mother's Day and all that it will mean, all that it will bring and just feel so very blessed with all that we have and at what the future holds for our family. I can not wait.

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