When.....

When does it get any better or go away for that matter??? I'm tired of feeling sad....tired of feeling alone....tired of feeling lost and left behind....tired of feeling like a burden on everyone else....tired of feeling like I should say certain things or act certain ways....tired of bursting out in tears with no warning....tired of being tired....tired of not wanting to get out of bed....tired of the general lack of motivation....tired of saying what I don't really mean or feel. I have now resorted to acting okay or fine too often to too many people and sadly, I think my actions are in the hopes that if I act like I am better, like things are okay and that I have seen the light and been enlighted by my misfortune that I will believe it myself and will "will it to be."If I could only rewind this last chapter of my life and insist on an edit....Oh how I wish it would be.....it would make things so much better and easier....being happy is so much more difficult when you're not. No one ever told me that.